Is there ever a good time to lose a loved one?
We were not created for death, which is exactly why it is so painful. Losing my mother this past fall, nearly 10 months ago and today is her birthday, gave me the opportunity to experience life to it’s fullest, by experiencing its expiration.
I cried a lot.
I probably prayed even more.
I pounded my steering wheel, not in anger, not in desperation, but in some attempt to connect with and experience my pain. The pain was indescribable.
I hugged my wife and kids a lot. I hugged my brother and sisters a lot. I hugged my dad; a lot-a lot. In the moments before her passing I just wanted to be near her and experience her love. Her looks, her voice, her care, her words. I hugged her the most.
I miss her today, I cry today, and I work to be thankful today. Remembering her for the joy her presence brought to my life and the lives of so many.
There is no timely death. There is no such thing.
But there is a time to mourn and a time to be comforted – a process for death and dying. CS Lewis, In A Greif Observed, writes about losing his wife. It is a poignant read.
“The death of a beloved is like an amputation.”
“Her absence is like the sky, it is spread over everything.”
And “Honest listening is one of the best medicines we can offer the dying and bereaved.”
In my effort to process my own loss and aid others on their journey join me as I reflect. Death is painful and permanent. The loss of a family member impacts everything. And the best we can do for ourselves and others is listen.
After all, at the death of his friend, a man who Jesus would even bring back from the permanence of death….